Welcome to this final episode in Series 2, which is focussed on questions of family, marriage, singleness, divorce and relationships within the Christian community. If you have been following, this 1 Corinthians Collection from the beginning, you will know that the church that Paul is addressing in Corinth is filled with problems. Those problems come from a lack of effective leadership, which has created divisions and arguments about all sorts of problematical issues. These include, Christians going to law courts to argue with each other about their quarrels and even a case of incest in the church, which Paul said needed to be dealt with very firmly by church discipline.  

Background and Recap 

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul has been focussing on some questions that the Corinthians had asked him. We know that a group of people from Corinth came to see Paul when he was in the city of Ephesus in Asia minor, and they brought their concerns to him about the weakness and the division of the church. They also wrote a letter which asked several specific questions. Paul has already begun to address these questions. In chapter 7: 1 he says, “Now for the matters you wrote about”. Clearly there were major problems about relationships in the church and sexual morality. Paul has also spoken in 1 Corinthians 6 about the fact that some men in the church were using prostitutes in the city which was a known fact in the church.  

In this episode we find another question that they put to him. We have already looked at marriage and divorce issues, and now we come to particular questions about those in the church, Christians, who are single - many of whom are young and some of whom are single, because they have been divorced or separated, or they have lost their partner and been widowed. 

Single Women 

“Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it's good for a man to remain as he is.”  

1 Corinthians 7: 25 - 26 NIV 

These are very important verses which explain everything else that Paul says. ‘About virgins’ means about single young women who have not entered any sexual relationship. Paul addresses their situation, and also single young men in the same situation. First of all, he says that he has had “no command from the Lord.” That means that Jesus never addressed this issue of whether single people should marry, and in what circumstances they should marry. Jesus addressed the fact that some people in the Kingdom of God would be single for various reasons. Singleness is honoured in the Early Church. Jesus himself was unmarried and Paul was unmarried. In this passage, Paul is going to promote the single life and suggest for some Christians, it is a good thing to remain single deliberately - sometimes for all their lives, and sometimes for parts of their lives.  

Paul is aware that people in Corinth became single, or were single, for several different reasons. Obviously, there are young people who have never married. He has already mentioned people who have divorced for various reasons. In many societies, there are people who are single because there are not enough available members of the opposite sex to marry. This is a common problem in Christian communities, especially after an economic crisis, or war; after a war the number of men killed in that war affects the availability of partners for marriage. This is a very real issue. It happened in the ancient world; it happens in the modern world. It might have happened in your country. It certainly happened in my country, in the United Kingdom, during the 20th century, after the two Great Wars where many women were unable to find marriage partners because of the lack of men. There are some people who don't marry because they don't have the physical capability, the psychological capability, or the emotional capability to sustain a long-term relationship and to build a family. 

Some people decide not to marry. There are Christians I know - men and women - who decided, as part of their Christian commitment and vocation, that God had called them to singleness. People, in every culture, have this calling and Paul supports those people. In fact, he says in this passage, he is one of them – he is called to remain single. He proposes that some others should follow his example. These are the things that Paul is addressing here. Jesus didn't give an absolute command, but Paul is now going to give some guidance to the Corinthian church. 

The Corinthian Crisis 

As he gives the guidance, he has one thing in mind which is very important for us to remember, which he describes  in verse 26 as “the present crisis”. The whole of 1 Corinthians should be interpreted in the light of this verse. Something is going on in Corinth specific to that city that makes Paul very concerned for the welfare of the church. 

What was it? Some people think it was economic problems, some people think that maybe there was a famine in that area and others think it was persecution, but we have no good evidence for any of those suggestions. The most likely suggestion is that it was a crisis in the church itself, and Paul believed that the church was so weak that it was likely to dissolve and die and disappear within two or three years, unless some of the problems were addressed. He describes it as a ‘crisis’. The church is in absolute crisis, and in that situation, Paul gives the following advice. In general, in a crisis, it is good to remain as you are, not to take on extra responsibilities. That is one thing that he has in mind when he discusses the possibility of Corinthians getting married. 

To Marry, or Not to Marry? 

“Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not, and those who mourn as if they did not; those who are happy as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it was not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman, or virgin, is concerned about the Lord's affairs. Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband. I'm saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”  

1 Corinthians 7: 27 to 35 NIV 

This truly is a most challenging passage, which some Christians find uncomfortable because of the things that Paul seems to be emphasising in the passage. Remember, the context is a crisis, and he indicates that if you are just about to get married and you choose to carry through with that during this crisis, that is fine. If you are single, stay single, that is also fine. There are a few different options open to people, but he warns them about the consequences of their decisions. Even though Paul is very positive about marriage and family life, and we see that in many other parts of his writings, he warns that there are some particular challenges of marriage and family life. There are many responsibilities, and he even describes it as troubles: running a household, looking after children, dealing with an extended family, supporting your children through their lives, helping them on the journey of faith, helping them financially, and dealing with the challenges they bring to you, which can be a very major responsibility. He warns people to think about that carefully before they marry. 

He also says that we need to be careful not to invest the whole of our life and our energy in marriage and family on its own. This is an interesting point. What he wants to point out is that we should see all relationships in the light of eternity; Jesus will come soon to this world. He points out here that marriage relationships are for this life, not for eternity. This is something many Christians find very difficult to fully understand. Jesus himself had already made this clear. Marriage is a commitment in this life and when one partner dies, that marriage ends. Tragically, sadly, it is a time of great sorrow, difficulty and mourning, and it is very important that we should embrace that reality and support people in it. But marriage is not going to be reconstituted as it is, in the eternal world. Jesus points out that when we die, we don't marry in heaven. We don't have children in heaven, and we are like the angels. We will have a good awareness of our family members - real emotional and relational connection to them, if they are believers in eternity, but we won't have exclusive relationships with them - something changes. Paul warns people not to invest all their emotional energy in their exclusive relationships as husband, wife, parents or children, but to be aware that those relationships, however important they are - and they are very important - are ones that we can't hold on to. They are passing. He also points out here that those who are married have less opportunity for Christian ministry and service. 

There is a creative tension in the New Testament between two realities. One is that God blesses and loves family life. Marriage is something that God created for the continuation of the human race, for the blessing of those in the marriage, and for the building up of family and community. This is one reality that the Bible is quite clear about, and it is very important for us. Paul emphasises it on a number of occasions. On the other hand, Paul also emphasises that singleness is not a second-best option; it is not a failure. Whatever the circumstances that bring us to singleness, God can use that for the advance of his Kingdom, because we have more time and energy available for the work of God's Kingdom. Whether we are old and single because we have been widowed, or whether we are young and we have chosen not to marry, or haven't been able to find a marriage partner, Paul very firmly supports the idea that singleness in the Kingdom is a place of honour, dignity and opportunity.  

Paul’s personal preference is for singleness. As he is talking to the Corinthians, he is saying, think about singleness because he actually prefers it as his own way of life. Although he honours marriage. Paul wanted some Christians to be single to help advance the Kingdom of God. A good example is the young man who came to work with Paul, by the name of Timothy. Timothy worked with Paul for about 15 or possibly 20 years, and almost certainly he was single throughout this time because he was constantly travelling with Paul from place to place. Paul took him away from his hometown, away from his family, and called him to go on a mission, which meant planting, overseeing and supporting churches all the way across the Roman world. As far as we know, Timothy spent the rest of his life doing that, and he needed to be single to do that.  

Christian Morality 

“If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honourably towards the virgin he's engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He's not sinning. They should get married. But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his will, and who's made up his mind not to marry the virgin. This man also does the right thing. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, he who does not marry her does better.” 

1 Corinthians 7: 36 - 40 NIV 

Paul has a preference for the single life which you can see coming out in the statement, ‘does better.’ He is addressing a very practical and important issue. Christian morality firmly links sexual relationship between a man and a woman with marriage. This is not a popular view in many cultures today - Western societies have largely rejected the Christian understanding of sexuality and marriage. It is also very common in other traditional societies, for people to have sexual relationships outside of marriage and keep them quiet, because they are shameful in those societies. Paul is addressing this issue very clearly. He is talking about a man and a woman in the Corinthian church who are engaged and, in the period before they get married there is a temptation to start their sexual relationship before they get married. Paul addresses practical issues directly and specifically. He doesn't avoid difficult issues. This is a constant issue in churches, and he points out that if your passions are strong, marry quickly - as soon as is practical. But if you are not sure about whether you are going to marry this person, it is better to stop the relationship because otherwise there will be trouble further along down the road. This is good, practical advice that can be applied in many different cultures. 

Widows to Marry Christians 

1 Corinthians 7:39 – 40: Many women became widows in the ancient world. It was common for men to die significantly earlier than women because of the conditions of their working lives, and the fact they had to travel to different places and sometimes they were forced into military service. There were several reasons why men's lifespan was significantly shorter than women, and so many women would find themselves to be widows. Even in the modern world, there are more widows than widowers. What should a Christian widow who loves the Lord do? Her husband has died. Paul says she can remarry. There is nothing to stop her remarrying.   

Notice the one thing Paul says, and this is a very important principle for all Christian marriage, and we find it in this unusual place. “She can marry any man she chooses, but he must belong to the Lord.” 

Paul wanted to build churches on marriages between Christians. He recognised that sometimes Christians are married to non-Christians. We saw that in an earlier episode in this second series, when Paul addressed the question of a Christian married to a non-Christian, and the non-Christian might want to divorce that Christian. Paul is aware that this issue happens sometimes; it happens by accident in that you are converted to faith whilst you are married to a non-Christian, and your partner won't follow you. That is the situation that Paul addressed earlier on. Here we have a slightly different situation. Here is a woman who can make a choice. What choice should she make? Paul gives a principle for marriage that should apply to all marriages, where we have the freedom to make those decisions. The principle is: a Christian should marry a fellow Christian. 

 This is not always possible, especially in cultures where marriages are arranged. I am aware that many people listening to this video will come from traditional cultures where families arrange the marriages of their children. Often, as in Islamic cultures, the arrangement relates to family connections, and it is frequently the case that young Muslims will marry first cousins or other relatives in order to keep families together, and to keep inheritance in the family. So sometimes choices are not free. But Paul is speaking here to a woman who is free to make her own choice. As far as possible, it is best for Christians to make their own choices about who they marry, irrespective of the wishes of their family to arrange marriages, and he says that her next husband must also be a believer. 

I am sure you will agree this is a very challenging episode in a very challenging series.  

Reflections 

First of all, the New Testament has a positive view of both marriage and singleness, and we need to have an equally positive view. We need to support marriages and families very strongly and also support people who are single for whatever reason.  

The second reflection is marriage is not forever. There are no exclusive marriage relationships in heaven, and we need to be aware that everything we have in our human relationships is passing, is changing, and ultimately is temporary. In the same way that parents need to let go of their children when they become adults and that relationship changes, so husbands and wives need to be willing to let go of their partners in terms of an exclusive relationship when the partner dies.  

My third reflection is that Christians usually do not value singleness enough, and in some cultures, it is even considered shameful for people not to get married when they enter into their mature years. 

We need to affirm that Christians should always marry other believers. That is a biblical principle. 

Finally, this episode makes it clear that sex is for marriage only.  

As we conclude, some of you will be aware that this teaching has challenged you personally. You might feel a sense of the Holy Spirit speaking to you about your own relationships and personal behaviour, things that have happened in the past, things that are happening now. Can I encourage you if that is the case: read this chapter through again, look at the verses that particularly speak to you. Pray about them. Ask the Holy Spirit what you can do. Accept your responsibility for mistakes that you have made or are making now. Seek God's help to make a change and seek advice from a Christian friend who you trust, or a pastor who you trust, so that you can find a way to be godly in your personal relationships. 

When we come to Series 3, we move to other very important topics. Paul changes the subject completely because he is answering specific questions. He has now finished answering the questions about relationships, and he moves on to some very important other questions, which we will address in Series 3.